Inner Turbulence
by Serelay
Summary: Set during the events of STD. Ron is trying to figure out what to do about his feelings about Kim whilst dealing with other problems that he has caused.
1. Chapter 1

Author Note – This fic is set during STD about half way in (Just after Drakken kidnaps Dr. Possible) and will start when Ron is at Bueno Nacho. This is also my first time writing a fic and I have had this idea floating around in my head for a while now and I finally bored enough to write it. The parts in italics are thoughts.

Critical reviews are welcome but only helpful ones, unhelpful reviews are not really useful for improving my terrible writing skills.

**Chapter 1 - **Inner Turbulence

_She doesn't need me to be around her anymore, she has _Eric_ now. Eric. Why do I feel like he is deliberately trying to keep Kim all to himself and away from me?_

_Although he is going out with her now so I suppose he is allowed to spend more time with her than me. _

_But I have been Kim's best friend since Pre K, doesn't that count for something, plus he was intruding tonight, on game night!_

_Well then why did it feel like I was the one who was intruding on Kim tonight? I mean we're just friends, aren't we? Kim must think so or she wouldn't be with Eric, but I care about her and her wellbeing so I want to see her be happy just not with him, or anyone else for that matter. _

_Why do I think that? I don't like Kim in that way do I? Eruughh I really need to talk to someone about this. But who? I can't talk to anyone about this. I can't talk to Felix, as good a friend he is he isn't very useful on the whole 'advice' front; he's more of a 'hanging out' with sort of friend. Wade is out of the question. He may be a genius but I doubt that he will be able to offer a solution to this kind of problem. Plus it would make things awkward between us and between him and Kim if I told him about this. Plus I can't ask him to lie to Kim if she starts asking questions, he is a friend to her as well. _

_That would just leave Rufus and my parents and out of those two I would only ever talk to one of them about my problems and it isn't the one that is supposed to help me deal with a situation like this, and how is Rufus supposed to be able to help me make sense of all this. He's my best buddy and he has helped me with my (possibly) unfounded hatred of Eric and he has tried to comfort me so maybe he can help me to figure out what to do. Although it's not fair to just lump all this onto him, he's helped me before but they were completely different situations._

_Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Maybe I need a woman's opinion about this, and I can't talk to any of them either. They all know Kim too well and would probably mention something to her, except for Mrs. Dr. P, but I can't tell her that I may or may not have feelings for her daughter. Or I could ask... no. After what I did she wouldn't want to see me again. Can I blame her though? That leaves nobody then. Why does this have to be so difficult?_

Rufus looked up at his master after they sat down at their usual booth with a Naco as it was still there after they sat down. He knew that his master was upset about the new person Kim was hanging around with and he could sense that he was distressed but the smell of food was too hard to resist.

After devouring the Naco and having a well deserved rest he looked back up at Ron who had his head in the palms of his hands. The fact that he hadn't even noticed that he had eaten his order sent a new level of worry through Rufus and only by resting a paw on his arm was he able to coax him out of his thoughts for a brief moment.

A barely audible whisper escaped him. "The only option I have left is too stop hanging around with her, it means more to me for her to be happy than me." He sighed.

Alarm bells went off in his head. _Ron. Kim. Not friends. Need to find help._ He scanned to surrounding area for anyone who could try to talk some sense into his lifelong friend. Only one person stood out I the deserted restaurant and it was the one person that wouldn't want to speak to Ron, but what choice do I have?

_Well I won't be able to do this on an empty stomach. I had better see how much Rufus left me. _He took his head out of his hands and looked down at the empty tray before him. _Well at least Rufus enjoyed it. _For the first time in a few days a smile cracked across Ron Stoppable's face_. Where is Rufus anyway? _He looked around the booth to see if he was resting somewhere. _Maybe he found an unguarded Taco. Ha, he eats more than I do. _His gaze drifted out to the night sky. The moon was in full effect, glowing eerily in the cloudless sky with only a few visible stars. _Well now seems a good enough time as any to go and tell her. I can use the time walking there to clear my head and think about what I'm going to say._ He started leave the booth to find Rufus so he could leave when an unexpected presence sat opposite him.

"Hello Ron. I think we need to discuss some things." The voice said with some malice.

Ron sat there for some time before answering the hostel visitor.

"Hi Tara. Long time no see."

_This is going to be a memorable day, mostly because it will be the day Ron Stoppable was eradicated from the face of the planet._

A/U – Considering I have re-written this chapter about three times and different things have happened in each of them I think I have picked the right one to go with. If anyone does have any tips about the layout just put it in one of the reviews as I need all the help I can get.


	2. Chapter 2

A/U – This story way take a while to explain itself fully but I have been sitting here writing it and I have been getting a little ahead of myself. If anyone has any ideas then feel free to teel me them as I have not really thought about many other characters yet.

Oh and if someone knows how to change the rating from an M to MA can you please tell me as I can't figure it out and I am not sure if the area that I want to send this story into is really suitable for the M rating.

**Chapter 2** – Misunderstood

**A few weeks ago**

_Come one Tara, you can ask him out. Just go up to him and see if he is free this Friday. You practised this at home, just walk up to him, start some small talk going, bring up Friday and ask what he is doing after the game._

She had made sure that she would ask him when he was going to a lesson that didn't involve Kim so he would be alone. There was five minutes until the bell rang and there he was, closing his locker door so he could, most likely, talk to Kim before he had his last lesson of the day. There were a few people in the hallway but they were not near enough to overhear the conversation that was about to happen. She had timed this perfectly.

_There he is, ask him now._ "Hi Ron, I haven't seen you in a while." _Good start Tara; get him talking about what he has been doing so the conversation can keep going._

"Oh, hey Tara. Yeah I have been a little busy lately. I have been helping Kim with the whole world saving thing and we only really see each other at practice anyway, except for when I see you with Bonnie but then it's only accompanied with snide remarks. I don't think we have actually spoken for a while now. How have you been?" She kept eye contact with him the whole time, slowly nodding at the end of each of his sentences.

"Well compared to what you do I haven't been doing anything that can be as important as saving lives. All I have been doing is cheerleading, babysitting and just getting on with my own life. Pretty uninteresting things." _Come on, ask him now. _"Well anyway I know that I will see you on Friday, we've got the game against Lowerton."

"Yeah you know The Mad Dog will be there, spreading the cheer. AW AW AWOOOOOO!. No, wait. That's a Wolf noise." He gave a goofy smile that portrayed a person that just loved life. It's one of the things that he did that could also make Tara smile.

Tara let out a small giggle. "Well after the game I was wondering, if you're not busy, if you wanted to go see a film or something." She put a coy smile on her face before adding, "With me." _Please say yes, I have spend months trying to figure out how to word this and I don't think that I will be able to stop myself from crying if you do say no. Wait what if he does say no. I would probably have to come up with a reason to leave before I do cry and when I do cry everyone will see me crying and know that I was just talking to Ron about something and then people will start to talk and then Bonnie will find out. Oh god Bonnie. She would kill me if she found out about this, and then probably kill Ron too for saying no. There's Kim as well, what would she do. They have been friends for as long as I can remember. Stop it Tara. Stop thinking; get out of your head. Just listen to what his response is first, think about all this later. _

"You mean like... on a date. With me. I... errrr... I mean..." _Tara. Wants to go on a date. With me? What? Am I sure I heard her correctly? Maybe she meant something else. I can't think anything else she could mean though. Quick say something, anything. Well not anything say yes. _"I love would yes too. Errrr I mean yes I would love too."He stammered quickly after his noticeable slip-of-the-tongue. He sheepishly looked down and closed his eyes. whilst his face became a bright shade of red. _Great Ron, you just get asked out by Tara and you go and do something as stupid as that. Great, just great. I bet she wouldn't even want to go to see a film with me anymore. Oh well it was nice whilst it lasted. _Ron silently steeled himself for the impending rejection and humiliation that he was about to receive from her because of his ability to make a fool out of himself at the worst of times. He slowly opened his eyes to quickly make sure that his pants were still on. _Well at least they haven't fallen down. That's a bonus I guess._ Instead of hearing the sounds of rejection he was surprised to hear Tara let out another giggle. He quickly looked up from the floor and had a look of complete confusion on his face.

Tara couldn't believe that he had said yes but the she couldn't stop herself from smiling and laughing a little at the way he had phrased his answer. "Hehehe. Well I will see you after the game at 9:00 outside the cinema then. I also think that it would be best if we kept this to ourselves for now at least as well Ron considering what Bonnie would probably do to the both of us."

_I hadn't even thought about what would happen if Bonnie found out about this. Oh god she would probably... do something... most defiantly resulting in pain for me. Plus what would happen to Tara. She would become an outcast like me. I can't let that happen to her by letting people finding out about us. Man this also means that I can't tell Kim about this. Well I suppose that it is for the best. "_Yeah that might be a good idea. Who knows what Bonnie would do about this." He gave Tara a small smile at the last remark.

"Yeah I for one do not want to suffer the wrath of Bonnie. I'll see you later then Ron." She left Ron standing there with one of the biggest smiles she had seen him wear as she turned away to get to her class. She couldn't stop smiling at how nervous he had been during the conversation.

_I have always loved how nervous he gets. It seems to be the complete opposite of how he is usually acts around people. It's one of the many things I noticed about him, after the incident at that lake anyway, like his compassion, his ability to face his fears on an everyday basis, the way he can passionate about the things he loves and his abilities in general. When we were at that lake he saved us all, even Bonnie. I know a few people on the cheer squad who would have just left just left the Queen Bee their if they could have, and even more people would have just left us there in that situation with that mutant. Except he didn't. He came back for a bunch of people who have consistently made fun of him for as long as I can remember, yet he chose to save all of us. Not many people in the world have that kind of caring nature about them. I could tell that much about him then and how much of a nice guy he really was and now I get to have him before anyone else can take him away. _She wore a smilefor the rest of the day whilst constantly thinking of what film they could go and see and what she would tell Bonnie she would be doing after the game.

_Wow a date with Tara. Tara! Who knew that she had a thing for me, she must have hidden it really well if I didn't pick up on this. Finally things are looking up for the Ron Man. _He had formed his trademark goofy smile whilst thinking about this when he began to notice a familiar sensation. "Aww man why now?" He quickly pulled up his pants and made his way to his first class.

**Present**

"Um, Tara, I was just about to leave actually so, uh, can we maybe talk some other time?" He asked the usually bubbly blond that was sitting across from him. He was rubbing the back of his neck preparing for the response.

"No Ron, we will talk about this now." She told him with a little bit of authority. She made sure that he knew who was in charge of this conversation.

"Well I have got some things to take care of that really can't wait." He got up to leave the table but was stopped by Tara.

"I don't FUCKING care Ron. .NOW." she screamed at him shaking a little as she did so." _Good Tara, you have been trying to get the courage to talk to him. Do not let him leave before you tell him how you feel._

He had never heard Tara raise her voice for anything, especially towards another person. _Wow what I did must have really hurt her. Well of course it did, how could it not have. But I don't even remember how it happened, never mind why it happened. _He sat down at the table and looked at Tara in complete silence. Her eyes were boring straight into his, like they were trying to make him feel the pain she was feeling. _Well at least I can try to explain myself now; this is the first time we have spoken since it happened. _"Listen, Tara..." he started.

Tara cut him off before he could finish the sentence. "No, Ron. I don't want to hear it. I saw you, I know what you did with _her_. You..."

"But I have no idea how it happened Tara." Ron cut her off "I swear I don't. I can't even remember what happened. I've tried to think but it's all just a blur. Please Tara you have to..." he was trying to reason with her, his voice rising just a little.

"ENOUGH!" she shrieked. The few people who were in Bueno Nacho who hadn't noticed their conversation had became aware of it now. She had to take a deep breath to calm herself so she could continue. "Enough Ron. I saw you there, in her bed Ron."

"But Tara." _Please listen._

" In her bed Ron!" She repeated with more force than before. "How could you, you slept with her Ron!" She lowered her voice and her head for the next part of her speech, like it was difficult for her to talk about. "I just want to know why. Why did you have to sleep with her, out of everyone why her?" she lifted her head to look at him while he answered.

"I... I" he stammered, trying to think of how he could explain all of this.

"WHY RON, WHY BONNIE?" She yelled, and in doing so managed to draw the attention of everyone in the restaurant onto their conversation.

"I DON'T KNOW!" His outburst shocked Tara, a brief look of curiosity crossed her face but was quickly replaced with anger once more. _How can I make her believe that the only explanation I have come up with is that Bonnie drugged me? I've got it! "_But I think that she planned it." _Well that sounded more believable in my head. Well I don't think I will be talking to Kim tonight._

Through the discussion nobody had noticed that Ron's pager had been going off, showing the message: KIM 911.

A/U - Well I am sort of happy with how this chapter turned out. I actually have an idea about where this story is going now so it should be easier to write now... hopefully.

Well unless my appalling writing style put you off enjoy and review.


	3. Chapter 3

A/U – This is longer than I had planned but I sort of couldn't stop writing. I would also like to thank Pavelius for the tip about marking the flashbacks, it should be easier to follow now.

**Chapter 3** – Reckoning Day

Flashback

"All right then Tara, what did you want to tell me." Bonnie and Tara were walking home after cheerleading practise. "And it had better be good because I also have something quite big to tell you." It was a sunny afternoon so they were walking at quite a slow pace. They were going back to Tara's to just hang out and watch a few films as Bonnie's parents were out and she didn't like the fact that more than half of her childhood had been spent on her own, in that house. She could recall only sparse memories that involved one of her parents and even less that involved her whole family. It felt like the house was completely lifeless when she was there alone.

"Well you know I said that I had gotten over my crush of... errrm, Ron?" She said with a slight bit of guilt slipping into her voice.

"Yes... and?" _She had better not say what I think she is going to say. _

"Well I... sort of lied so you would stop pestering me about it." She looked down at her feet knowing what her brunette friend would do.

_I knew it. _"I knew you didn't stop having feelings for him. You kept on looking at that loser at cheer practice and whenever we past him in the hall." _It's going to take a while for me to snap her out of this. There may be some hope still left though. _"Well come on then I have to get you to start crushing on someone else." Bonnie started to walk off towards Tara's house. She only got about ten feet before she realized that her friend wasn't following her. "Well, come on. What are you waiting for?"

Tara was still standing in the same place as before except that her head wasn't looking at the ground anymore, she was staring straight at Bonnie with a little bit of fear in her eyes. "Well I wasn't finished. I kind of asked him out for this Friday after the game, and he said yes." She said the last part with a small smile on her face. "I was hoping you could help me pick out an outfit to wear." Tara kept staring at her friend whilst she was telling her this. She tried to convey a small amount of hope into her voice with the last sentence as she noticed Bonnie's face was becoming darker and darker. Bonnie started walking up to Tara but to her surprise she kept walking past her without saying a word. "Bonnie please. I told you this because you're my best friend, please don't be mad." She shouted after her. She knew full well what Bonnie was capable of when she became this angry about something so she refrained from following her. "I guess we'll talk about this tomorrow then." She turned back and continued walking towards her home.

Bonnie made it home in a short amount of time, her fists kept clenching and unclenching in anger until she had made it to her front door. She quickly placed her keys into the front door of her house and slammed the door shut. She had a determined look on her face as she rapidly made her way to her room. _So she is finally going out with Stoppable huh? Well not if I have anything to do about it._

She went over to her bedside table and opened the drawer. She quickly located the box that was hidden under some other items. She opened the box that she had bought when her family had gone on holiday a few years ago. It had a hidden compartment that could be opened when a certain amount of pressure was placed against the left hand side of the box. It contained her fake diary and some other fake personal items of Bonnie's. She located the key that was in a small compartment in the lid and then closed the box. She went over to her wardrobe and found a large, rectangular, metal box that was hidden behind her shoe rack at the bottom of the wardrobe. She moved the black cloth that was covering it. It fit in perfectly and could only be seen if someone was really trying to find it. _I'm glad my sisters think that that box contains information about me. _She smirked. _They think that they know so much about me from reading about the "_Real" _Bonnie in that diary. Well this box is the real Bonnie. _She opened the box to reveal a few films, CD's, photos and her real diary. She picked up a photo and a CD that was on top of the pile. She placed the CD into her CD player and sat down on her bed. Subdivisions by Rush started to come out of her speakers. She knew nobody would be home for a few hours so she turned up the volume to full with a remote that was on top of her bedside table. _Well now I can at least relax. _She picked the photo she had taken from the box. It was a photo taken out of a newspaper. The caption under the photo said _"Local teen sidekick saves cheerleaders" _The photo contained a picture of Ron posing for the camera just after they had given the report to the police. She stared at the photo for some time before coming up with a solution to her problem. _I'm sorry Tara but you can't be with him, I can't let you ruin your standing on the food chain. If I'm not allowed to have him because of the food chain then you can't have him either. _A single tear rolled down her face as she thought about what she had to do to make sure her plan would work. She left the room to get everything prepared when Ants of the sky began to play out of her speakers.

Present

"What do you mean you _think_ she planned it?" questioned Tara. _He had better come up with something a little bit more believable than that._

"Well on the Friday that our date was on Bonnie came up to me before the start of school and told me to get up early on Saturday and to meet her at her house." He was being careful about what words to use so Tara wouldn't leave. "I thought that it was weird but she said that she was going to tell me how not to make an idiot out of myself whenever I was on a date with you." _Well so far so good._

"Wait... Bonnie said that she would coach you on how to behave on a date with me. But you did great on our first date." She smiled a little remembering what a good time she had on their first date.

"Well I didn't know if I was doing anything right or not but we didn't just talk about how to behave on dates, she was telling me about all of your pet peeves, the secret things that you like, just small things like that. But she also told me not to tell you about seeing her. I just thought that it was Bonnie being nice." He was starting to get into a flow now.

"And you didn't think that Bonnie being nice, least of all to you wasn't cause for concern or worry. Or scepticism. Or suspicion." Tara still had trace amount of malice in her voice. _This is still sounding a lot like it's your fault._

"At the time I thought that she was doing it because she was your friend and not for any other reason." Ron was still looking worried as Tara still didn't seem to believe him.

"Well I haven't seen any evidence that all this was planned yet Ron, and to be honest I can't see how this could be planned." She was looking at Ron with a soul freezing expression. "All I think you're doing is trying to find an excuse because as I remember it on that same Saturday I spoke to Bonnie and she said that she was ok with me dating you." Tara said with a smug look on her face.

Ron sat up a little bit when hearing this. "Wait a minute, so when you told Bonnie about us was she happy about it." He was looking at Tara with a questioning gaze.

"Well... not at first. She just sort of... angrily walked off without saying anything." Tara began to look sheepishly down at the table.

It was Ron's turn to be angry now. "Really. So she was angry about you dating me and didn't say anything but then all of a sudden she is ok about you dating a loser like me." He was trying and failing at staying calm. "Because I think you know as well as I now do that Bonnie can be very manipulative when she wants to be."

Tara was still looking at the table but she knew that he was onto something._ God, he might be right. She can always get her way if she needs to and if she puts her mind to it she can make anyone her puppet. _"You may... sort of have a point." Tara had begun to calm down a little. _Maybe he is also a victim in this. I shouldn't have been too hard on him, not until I have at least heard the whole story. _"I'm sorry I was shouting at you before Ron. What happened at Bonnie's to make you think that she planned this then." Tara had reached out across the table to take his hand.

Ron took his hand back from Tara's grasp and began to look guilty. "Well errrm, don't get mad but uh, we kind of saw each other at lot."

"So Ron, you just said that you were around her house on Saturday." She took Ron's hand and placed it in hers again.

"No, I mean that we sort of saw each other... naked." He looked down at the table for what must have been the fifth time. _My neck is really starting to hurt; I have to stop looking down._

Tara's face went through a mixture of expressions before she finally settled on anger. She quickly snatched her hand back. "WHAT!"

"WHAT!"

Only Ron turned to see who had decided to interrupt their conversation as Tara was still staring daggers into Ron's head. It took him a while to register who it was but everything had become about ten times harder for him. _Why is the world out to get me?_

"Oh, hey Kim. Errmmm, how much of this conversation have you heard?" he was biting his lip hoping that luck would be on his side for once.

"Well I have heard enough to know that you have got a lot more explaining to do." Kim was looking down at Ron with a serious look on her face.

_Well at least I can now kill two birds with one stone, so to speak anyway. _Whilst he was thinking this Kim had sat down next to Tara. Ron was now staring at two very angry women who could do a lot of bodily harm. _Well I'm fucked. I wonder if I can spontaneously burst into flame, I think it would be a preferable outcome than this. _"So, er, ha. Who wants to go first."

A/U – Well at least I didn't leave it on a cliff hanger (sort of anyway). I had been ill lately so I hadn't updated this for a few days so when I came back to writing it I sort of couldn't stop. I had a few ideas about what will happen and I am not really sure about the way I have done this chapter, I think I am getting a little ahead of myself so that is why I had Kim come in at the end.

Again please review if you have any ideas on how I can improve this or if you have an idea yourself about what will happen. P.S I am curious to know if anyone knows where I got the chapter names from


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